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CANCER

In Uncategorized on May 3, 2013 at 5:37 am

February 25th 1999 I lost my best friend to Cancer. She had 3 beautiful kids. She was my best friend in the whole world. I wrote a poem after she died. It was the only way I could get rid of a small part of the pain. Today I went through some folders of things I have written. I knew this poem was there but it is the one thing I have written just for me. It was always too hard, or hurt too much to show anyone. Today I decided that it was time. Cancer sucks; it hurts and takes people you love. I still think of her and now I want to make sure she is always remembered.  I know that my blog title implies a different type of story. Sorry if you ask me Cancer is horror. Please share this not for me not for the blog But I want to see her Name all over the net. Block out my name if need be. Copy and paste. Cancer hurts and destroys. My wish is that some person some place will find a way to kill it and kick its ass. This is for my friend .I love you I miss you

For Amy  Hladasz

I close my eyes and try to weep no more. I take a deep breath and still can’t close the door.

I watched you lay silent and still, no hope for the future losing your will.

My heart was screaming in agony in the silence of your room.

My soul was coursing God, for taking you too soon.

You were vibrant beautiful women. Your laughter could fill a room.

You were the strongest of us all you never backed down.

Now you have this cancer in side that would but you in the ground.

I knew you pain was unbearable as I watched you unable to breath.

You were only hanging on by the power of a machine.

In one weak and selfish moment I begged you not to leave.

It was then I saw a single tear falling down your check.

I knew in that moment that I had to say good bye.

This would be the hardest thing if my life.

I had to tell my best friend it was ok to die.

I held your hand, closed my eyes and tried not to cry.

I wasn’t there that final moment that you took your last breath

I told you I loved you and promised we would all be fine.

In this life that has always been my one regret.

Sometimes I think I hear you when the wind blows just so.

Sometimes I know your there when certain songs come on the radio.

Your light your smile you laugh shines through you children as they continue to grow.

God, what you went through, how wonderful, how strong. Will they ever know?

I have never known such pain since then. There is an empty feeling inside

February hurts my soul. It still hurts and makes me cry.

I had a broken heart that February day.

That terrible day, the day my best friend had to say good bye.

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