tsf36

CHRISTMAS SARCASM

In funny, Uncategorized on December 6, 2014 at 7:20 pm

rude santa

Christmas is a wonderful time of year. A magical time even. The smell of cookies and peppermint  fills the house. We smile a bit more and are satisfied with the pure joy of giving. There is no greater feeling than the warmth of love and family. Now that you feel all toasty and festive lets drop the faKe smile, toss the dam Santa hat and get real.

 I simply love Black Friday Shopping, said no one ever!

The happy sounds of trampling crowds at 5am. The smell of desperation and credit card debt. I especially love the grandmother in aisle 5. She  threatened to punch me in the face over an over priced Elsa doll.. Yes, what’s not to love?

 Christmas Music makes the season bright like the halls of a mental institution.

By Dec 15th you are sick of hearing White Christmas. Maybe you’d feel different if every station didn’t start playing it two days before thanksgiving. By Christmas day, you are convinced that this was used as a form of torture at Guantanamo. Waterboarding is looking pretty dang good.

Thanks, Grandma for the rock hard fruit cake that you re-gifted.

My oldest child  threw it at his brother’s head. Only four stitches. I am sure it won’t show up in the Christmas pictures. As his punishment, I will make him wear the Christmas sweater  you sent him last year.

Let it snow, let snow, let snow.

The first snowfall of the year is always the most beautiful. Then you realize you will have to dig you car out. It’s 20 degrees, you’ve lost your gloves and the snow plow just blocked your car in.Now you freezing, wet, and late for work.

 The whole family is coming for dinner, time to buy more wine!

At some point, you mother will point out how much weight you have gained.Wow! thank’s mom. Then there’s you in-laws. Every time they open their mouth Satan speaks.the only things you want to say is “The power of Christ Compels you” Oh well keep drinking!

 This Christmas try not to take the stress to seriously. Find the joy, and laugh at the nonsense.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

TS

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